Jesse Koontz MPF App

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Jesse Koontz MPF App

Post  Jesse1223 on Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:18 am

Steam Name And ID:Breezey STEAM_:1 : 31911235

In-Game Main Character Name:Jesse Koontz

How long have you played on the server?:couple of hours but ive been on many HL2 rp servers it equals up to 1 month worth of experience

Character Backstory: My father died when i was 2 i had a heart suergery Cause my blood was Black Then I was Shot in the leg when i was 5 Then i was brought to hostpital then i heard Shots Then i heard On the ground! i thought it was a normal robbery A terriost then My brain shut down But it was a miracle i woke up then i heard. You have chosen or been chosen To come here I thought What? 10 years pass I was sent to jail for running then i heard firing i was happy the rebels were fighting back then i heard Ow! and No! they all died Then i was shot in the back of the head black blood i felt it came to my head i was healed It was a person called a Vortigaunt 10 years pass im now a city 18 civillian Other than a kid Then The vorigaunt saved my life i thought i went to visit him he had a weird suit last time he was different He did it during the war i asked him what happened? he said they use these as detectors if they see i leave i will be sentenced to jail. if i do it again i will be shot. then a city scanner scanned me then someone yelled. "Hey Your Holding up the line!" i got my rations and bought the bandages. with my rations i bought a apartment I was a little happy but i thought of getting the vortigaunt out of there? Nothing came up and i watched tv in the lobby it said a vortigaunt has escaped from his hospital work and out of the door they said he had a new friend named Jesse Koontz a civilian was interriogated it thought. I had to pack my bags i was sent to jail then sent to city 17 i got a new apartment i found My friend vorigaunt i thought they might've not told this city i said "hi" she says "Hi" I ask "whats your name?" He proudly says Namara I think who would have the name namara? its my friend vortigaunt! Then i saw a CP come by She ran Out of the city i thought not his again im not leaving i dont feel like running across citys i settle in in my new apartment. /me I take a bath and then i find a lottery. i go to it /me Puts ticket in i won it from a video game i payed 50cents for It says You have Lost. then the CP's always win im sad how do they have all the luck? They say Stop right there! i Jump and run through the door I Get up to the cat walk Im afraid of hights time to overcome it i run across the catwalk. I Get to a wall i sideways run it onto another floor they had to climb a tree I came to a dead end I was stunsticked and put in jail for lottery losing i think is that a random reason my character has been in jail for talking (ive acctually been in jail for talking before) I think they are a little harsh buut i start a rebelling team we take over the city. Then a gunship flys in starts shooting i yell "Get To cover!" I get a rpg Fire 1 rocket the ship drops a bomb it kills lots of cps and all of my team mates a vortigaunt comes and brings me and saves me Namara is that you. She says Yes. "Thank you" i say it was easy you had Black blood its no problem. | Why do you want to be MPF?:I will help the combine and make roleplaying better

Do you understand that if you abuse your rights your character will be banned, you will lose your

whitelist, and you may be banned temporarily depending on your actions?:Ok!

Do you understand that if you show traitorous actions and traits you will be amputated and PKed?:Ok!

Do not go Rogue without my authorization! (Burningfox6). Also, If I'm not on, ask someone to ask me,

and just try to get your rank to 04 before you go Rogue.Ok!










Last edited by Jesse1223 on Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:58 pm; edited 5 times in total

Jesse1223
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Join date : 2012-03-08
Location : City 17

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Re: Jesse Koontz MPF App

Post  Renzo on Fri Mar 09, 2012 12:07 pm

You need two paragraphs minimum and you don't have a /me situation anywhere, deleting it won't excuse you making one. Neutral (Until revised properly)
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Renzo
| Community Owner | App Manager | Donator | Ventrilo Admin | Minecraft Admin |
| Community Owner | App Manager | Donator | Ventrilo Admin | Minecraft Admin |

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Yeap.

Post  Devildrvr(44343) on Fri Mar 09, 2012 12:26 pm

I'm worried about your grammar. I had trouble reading it, but that's not the point of forums. Your MAJOR problem was that the story was too short, and a little off the HL2 storyline. Anyways, I agree with Renzo, add some more detail, fix the spelling, and you can haz MPF

Just, try not to go into the slums >Very Happy

-Andra 'Reaper' Higgins

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Posts : 18
Join date : 2012-02-28
Age : 19
Location : City 18

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Re: Jesse Koontz MPF App

Post  Renzo on Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:58 pm

Two paragraphs was added but your use of grammar is pretty bad. To add on that you have no /me situation.

DENIED
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Renzo
| Community Owner | App Manager | Donator | Ventrilo Admin | Minecraft Admin |
| Community Owner | App Manager | Donator | Ventrilo Admin | Minecraft Admin |

Posts : 106
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 22
Location : Stuart, FL

http://www.facebook.com/renzofergod

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